Flour Power

Much has been written about how bad the new Transformers movie is. A quick look at the reviews on  Rotten Tomatoes (which, by the way, shows a 20% score) reveals true masterpieces of movie-dissing:

“They’ve managed to make a movie that is so incredibly bad that it manages to mark career lows for pretty much everybody involved.”

“Will insult your intelligence, hurt your eyes, and offend your sense of decency until you worry that your skull might explode while your brain trickles right out of your ears.”

“Transformers: The Revenge of The Fallen is beyond bad, it carves out its own category of godawfulness.”

“Performance-wise, the machines do tend to upstage the humans.”

“Bay’s most unrestrained and ridiculous to date. The male teenage cinematic equivalent of snorting cocaine off a hooker’s ass.”

That alone was enough to convince me I wouldn’t waste my time and money to watch it. Then I saw this clip of “Transformers 2 in 1 minute”:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fqN_wCK9hM

The clip was put together by Chris Phillips, creator of MTV’s Mighty Moshin’ Emo Rangers:

I’d written a rather critical review of Transformers 2 on my facebook blog, which a few friends had read, and it seemed to divide opinion. I’d say roughly 70% of people agreed it was a terrible film, but then unbelievably 30% kind of enjoyed it. Unacceptable. I realised that reasoning alone would not be able to crush their ridiculous admiration for such a creative traversty.

So I set to work creating a youtube clip to rival the millions of dollars poured into the film, the hundreds of experienced technicians who spent years creating the explosive robotic battle sequences, and the unrivaled wisdom of the established script writers who weaved 3 hours of narrative gold from the Transformers universe. It took me 20 minutes.

Had enough? But there’s more! If you want to know more about the “plot”, just go ahead and read Topless Robot’s Transformers 2 FAQ. It’s hilarious!

Not everything is bad, though. There’s still only one reason to just barely consider watching it:

It’s not for her acting skills, though. And I don’t think she has enough on-screen time to be worth the ticket price.

So, that brings me to the title of this post. After reading so many bad things about it, now I must see it, just to gloat at how bad it is. And at how wasteful was all the money spent on cinemas to watch it. Because if you thought that such bad reviews would drive people away, think again. According to Box Office Mojo, the movie grossed nearly $420 million (about €300 million) in just it’s first week! That’s more than 3 Cristiano Ronaldos!! That means it already more than paid for the outrageous $200 million it allegedly cost to make.

And that makes me sad…